This is how I feel it all got started.

I have been thinking today about how I got here. In some ways I feel like I've always been on the path that would take me here, from those years of walking the track with Todd, Eddie and Erin to the purchase and one time use of a double jogger after the twins were born, from the conversation in middle school with the track coach to the midnight sprints in high school through Peaks View Park when inebriation was more the driving factor than a finish line, I have possibly always been moving towards becoming a runner.

But instead of boring you with the very beginning I believe it's best to chose February 2009 as the starting point that really led me to where I am today. I was a few months pregnant with our third child and had been drifting in and out of highs and lows for sometime.  At that time I had a falling out with a friend who had blessed me with her friendship for over a decade. I was completely in the wrong and will never forget her honest email knocking me down in size and with good reason. I never responded, I knew I was in the wrong but felt that any apology offered would come off flat and weak. I confided in my dad and he told me to give it a few days, but I knew that the friendship was over and had maybe been over for sometime. I wondered had I been stronger could it have ended more pleasantly, sooner  and without the hard feelings. Following that falling out I entered a dark and gloomy place, I hated who I was (again with good reason). I had put on weight since having the twins. I had failed in my mind to be the mother I had always thought I would become. I felt I was headed nowhere.

In the summer of that year Todd registered and trained to do an adventure race through Odyssey Adventure Racing. His brothers had been adventure racing for sometime and Todd was inspired. He trained through the spring and into the summer. When the race came in mid-July he drove solo to the event to be a solo participant. Being eight months pregnant and miserable, the twins and I stayed home. He called from the event, he didn't have cash to pay an extra fee he'd not been aware of, he didn't know anyone at the event and felt bad asking to borrow money from anyone. He came home without participating. It kind of broke my heart.

I was at a crossroads, I wanted to lose weight and I needed some direction. I decided that day that after I had the baby (Seaner) that I was going to lose weight and get in shape so that Todd would have someone to do adventure races with and so I told him of my plans and started right in on getting moving so that the following July he would have a partner at the same adventure race.

The days were long and I was a hopeful VBAC with a newfound drive so we started walking at Blackwater Creek in the evenings. I wanted to go into labor to avoid a cesarean and Todd changed his focus to the Virginia Ten Miler. Throughout the rest of July and into August we spent many evenings on the paved trail, Todd running and I walking.

I had the baby on August 20th and was ready to get moving the following week, we returned to the trail so Todd could continue to train for the Virginia Ten Miler and I to walk. One day, about three weeks after Seaner was born I went for a walk and did a little jogging. That night, after the exercise, I told Todd I may like to sign up for the Virginia Four Miler. Todd was very encouraging but I wasn't sure who would watch the three very small children (all under 2 at this point) we now had or if I could even walk four miles. I went back and forth on whether or not to sign up.

At the time I had two friends who ran, Heather Cavaliere and Kelly Perdieu, both girls I had met at a Bunko group and had awed me with their running. They were both very encouraging that I could do the four miles but I, and this will come as no surprise, was pretty unsure of myself.

In the end I decided the Thursday before the race to sign up for the four miler. Saturday  morning my brother and his girlfriend met us at E.C. Glass to watch our children. Todd and I lined up at the very back of the pack. I stood there full of nervous energy in one of Todd's old running shirts.

And then the race began. I hadn't ever run in a race but I just followed the group's lead. I started out running but didn't know how long that would last. And then I did something I hadn't done since required of me in highschool, I ran a mile. It wasn't fast, I think nine or so minutes but when I crossed the first mile marker there was a guy there yelling the time and that moment, when I crossed that first mile line on Langhorne road is, in my mind, THE turning point.

I hadn't gone out that day to run.  I wanted to do something with my husband. I wanted to lose weight. I just wanted to like myself again.  I was so amazed that I had run the whole mile that the sheer astonishment in the fact took me another quarter mile.

Following the VA Four Miler September 2009.

I did eventually walk. Quite a bit actually. But I still made it to the finishing line. I stood there by Magnolia Foods until Todd ran back by on his way to the finish so I could cheer for him and then I continued to watch the runners until the last runner passed by before catching the last of the yellow school buses back to the start line.

And just like that I was hooked. I had fallen in love with how that accomplishment made me feel. I went home and signed up for a 5k THE VERY NEXT WEEKEND. Of course I had to google what a 5k was because I wasn't sure. And from there it grew and continues to grow. It took a long time and lots of wondering that I was a runner until I finally believed I was a runner and yet nowadays I wonder if I've always been a runner.

And Todd and I did that adventure race in July and then another in October but it turns out that Todd and I do not make the best team in a competition but that's a story for another day....