Remember, you signed up for this.

To run further and further, it is true, you have to train to run further and further. This is fairly obvious and I won't argue with the simplicity. However, I have come to believe that endurance running is as much about the mind as it about physical ability. In the week or so leading up to Masochist as the runs grew shorter and few between I spent more and more time convincing myself that I could run 50 miles, a feat just scary enough to dread but short enough to attempt. I read and reread certain passages and articles I'd bookmarked and began to compile a list of things to remember should the race try and wear me down.

At first only a few small reminders, it all fit on a nice post-it but as race day approached the list grew longer, until it ultimately filled a sheet of notebook paper. Filled with simple suggestions and observations, reminders and encouragement, they were the sort of things a well rested me would tell a struggling me should we happen upon each other out on the trails. A reminder to remember particularly grueling sections of past races or just to simply smile and drink in the beauty that surrounds, it was to be my secret weapon come race day.

The night before MMTR I readied my gear and chose a particular pullover because it had an arm pocket. I neatly and gently folded this piece of paper and stashed it away, ready and waiting. I had an almost perfect day at Masochist. I ran comfortably, yet steady, I listened to the cues from my body and pushed when I felt that I could, I fueled before my body begged and I finished ahead of even my best case race day scenario despite troublesome snow and a few low points. I never pulled the list from it's hiding place because I never needed it, however, I would like to think that I never needed the list because I had made the list.  A few times during the day I did picture the list, between Salt Log Gap and the next aid station for instance, and I drew from it inspiration and encouragement, give all of yourself regardless of outcome. 

I don't know how I'll do this weekend at Holiday Lake 50k but I can assure you that this piece of paper, faded and folded quite small, will be tucked away somewhere on my person, my better half ready for the rescue.

-Alexis