Conquer the Cove Marathon
Carvin's Cove, Virginia
Sunday, June 1, 2014
Where to start? Where to start? I think it may be fitting to actually start after Terrapin. In a post race funk following Terrapin I decided I was going to train better for Promise Land, I was going to go for a personal best, a 'whoa' time even of sub 6 hours. But despite a descent effort I didn't make my goals for the day. I was training a little better but I was still lacking some things. Moving forward I set my sights on two things, convincing myself to move forward with an attempt to finish the Beast Series (read: register for Grindstone) and running a personal best at Carvin's Cove, the last of my 'fast' running/racing for the year.
I've run Conquer the Cove every year since it started, I did the 25k in its inaugural year in 2011, 19 weeks pregnant with baby Brodie. I ran the marathon, my first official one of road or trail, the following year when I used the Mountain Junkies RNUTs to get back into shape post-baby and surprisingly placed first female in a time of 4:05. Last year I ran it (and another 15 later in the day) as part of my last long run before heading west to California for Western States. This year adding the marathon to my race schedule was about several things, it was about using the endurance I had built over the spring and fine tuning it with speed work, it was about gauging my fitness as I try to return to and surpass where I was in fitness in the spring of 2012, and then it became as the race itself approached, a test of positive thinking.
How many times do people say 'trust your training'? Well, if you're me you hear it a lot. Well meaning friends have, for the better part of the time I've known them, tried to convince me that I could run faster, be better. But I suffer from severe self doubt, pessimism, and fear of failure. Despite these facts, I registered for the marathon because I like racing and I was actually looking forward to some shorter, faster running.
Then last Thursday I went running with Kevin. We were talking about all things running when I told him the depths to which my fears drive me, I told him that I really am fearing finishing races like Grindstone and Masochist after Grindstone. He did his best to try and instill some confidence in me and even gave me a few mental 'exercises' to work on for the fear and negativity. When I told Todd about our conversation he drove the same ideas home. I struggled to understand what they are really seeing in me, but I also knew I had put in more work this year and that I was feeling fairly strong as of late. I tried to do something different, I tried to believe what they were trying to sell to me. I started to think about not only a PR come race day, but breaking 4 hours. I thought about the course record, and could I possibly have a shot at that? Friday at dinner during a conversation regarding the race Todd told me he thought I could be closer to 3:40, I told him he was out of his mind. Kevin said 3:50. I thought I liked the sound of 3:54.
I tried not to get too nervous, I tried to rely on trusting the training. I was a little worried about my shoes, I hadn't worn my Hoka Stinsons since Promise Land because they'd bothered my feet during that race but all of my other shoes were just a little too worn out to race a marathon in. I had to go with the Hokas. I was a little worried about breakfast, a donut, but then when will I ever learn about eating right?
I wore my Mountain Hardwear vest filled with Strawberry Banana (5) and Salted Caramel (1) GU and carried my Nathan 20oz bottle with toilet paper and another GU. I wore my favorite Nike tempo race shorts that I have no idea where or when I got and can't replace (I've tried) because I always do OK when I wear them.
Getting started that morning I didn't see Todd or Courtney. I always start a little near the back and was worried that I had already lost sight of them. I was running that first road section looking everywhere for Courtney when finally she ran up beside me. She'd had some trouble with a new vest at the start and was actually behind me, I joked that we were running too fast if she was behind me but the pace was in retrospect a good thing, falling into the faster pace from the start made it easier to continue at that pace. I was running with her and Walker and my buddy Robbie from Lynchburg when we hit trail.
We were running the Trough, a steep 1.1 mile climb when I decided I was feeling pretty good and was going to go around Courtney. It was funny because when I went around her she said "Alexis, tell me about your childhood" and Walker said "Start from the beginning!" But I had to get moving. Over the next mile I ended up walking 3 times for a brief few seconds. Todd had advised I run the whole thing but I felt bad when I was passing 25k people like Marshall, that I was running too fast. As much as I wanted to break away from my comfort box in this race I also FEAR bonking and falling apart like no other runner you've probably ever met.
When I got to AS 1 I made a point to learn from last years mistakes and took the time to stop and fill my bottle and I am glad I did. After that water stop the climbing is over for the moment and there is a semi technical downhill that follows, I was passed by a half dozen runners on this section, but I did the best I could. I was feeling pretty good and was still hitting a nice pace. I just tried to hold steady.
Then the trail sort of flattened out to a nice rolling in and out of switchbacks and I started to worry I had been running too fast. Then I realized what really fails me is my HEAD in a race. I don't drink right, I don't eat right, I worry and whine to myself. I decided that the goal above all others for the day, was to remain as optimistic as possible. I ate a GU on my schedule and made a note of when to take the next, I worked on finishing the water in my bottle, I decided when I would be allowed my iPod (mile 18) and focused on running smooth and comfortable, remaining positive.
On the way to the second Aid Station I met a runner doing the 25k who had a knee injury but had run Boston, Richmond and the Shamrock marathon. He took my mind off of the task at hand but also had me thinking about road marathons. When we split at the aid station I filled my bottle and looked at my watch, I was running a little fast. I let off just a little and set my sights on the next runner ahead. I never met this runner but I followed him for nearly ten miles, he ran a very steady pace and I didn't have to worry about getting lost following him, and once I even got him back on track. We came into aid stations with volunteers so uplifting and encouraging. They joked that I was fast for a girl at one point and that made me smile. I kept filling up my water bottle and working on emptying it between water stops. I never stopped longer at an aid station then it took to get my bottle refilled.
We ran through the beautiful and serene Enchanted Forest and Schoolhouse. They are some of the most beautiful trails I've ever run, and fairly fast though I could feel my pace dropping a little as the miles wore on. Between miles 13-15 I started to get a little fatigued, I met my wall you could say, a little early. I jumped on my positive thinking bandwagon and reminded myself of runs I had done, of previous Conquer the Cove races (it's amazing what will come back to you during a run on familiar terrain you only run once a year). I had just finished telling myself we were doing well and that the race was still ahead, up the climb up Brushy Mtn Road when my left knee started to hurt. It was almost laughable, I was just having this confidence building pep-talk and my knee starts to pound. And then I remembered the quote, 'Your body achieves what your mind believes'. I focused on my mind pushing through my knee pain, and it worked! I wasn't injured, just starting to fall apart a little, but I just kept on reminding myself to smile and enjoy it and it really worked for the most part. My legs were tight, my stomach a little troublesome and my knee pounding, but I just kept thinking of what I had put into my training to get here, what I wanted and where I was headed.
I thought about Frank G. He told me he looks at a race like his job. I thought about the race as my 'job' as an assignment I'd given myself. I gave myself four hours to do it. If you work harder, I'll let you off early, I told myself. At a little past 13 miles I looked at my watch, I'd run for 1:51, last year at about this point I was at 2:07, I decided that was a pretty good sign and that even if things hurt they would still hurt if I slowed down. Better to keep the same pace and finish 'work' early.
I started focusing my positive thoughts to the climb approaching, even if I slowed here through the middle miles, I told myself I had to be ready to take on that hill. I've been told I climb well, I had to make that count especially today, especially if I wanted a chance at breaking the course record. I kept telling myself things I knew I needed to hear, that I wanted to do well, that I'd been wanting to hit goals all spring and had felt the disappointment for days and weeks afterwards. Have no regrets, I told myself. Don't wish on Monday, work today. My stomach was becoming troublesome after GU #3. And then, to further test me, my calves started to cramp. I drank more water, I pushed taking a pit stop as long as felt relatively necessary and comfortable. After my pit stop my stomach did feel better but my calves were scaring me, it was too early to be cramping, not even 17 miles in. But I was running faster than I ever run for even 17 miles. I let myself slow just a tad and did start to worry the slightest bit, because at this point I knew I was on target for a course record but still had nearly ten miles left, I was worried I would lose it to cramps.
As I ran towards the climb, my pace slowed and I told myself that I would drink, that I would not let a course record rule me, that I was going to do all that I could and know that I had given my best for the day either way.
Coming out to the Happy Valley Fireroad my legs had me scared. I saw spectators and Sarah Taylor right before the turn to Brushy Mountain Fireroad. Sarah said I looked strong and wasn't I happy that I didn't have an extra 20 miles to run after today's race referencing last year's race. I thought back to last year and how I remembered the first part of Brushy Mountain Fireroad climb to be the toughest, I got ready for 'the climb' and then there she was.
Slow and steady, smile, relax. The climb to the aid station was as tough as I remembered but longer than I could recall. Nearing the aid station I wanted to walk, to take a break. But then there were volunteers cheering and ushering compliments that I couldn't stop for more than the time to get some water from their pitchers. Those few steps and then it was back to running the climb. I turned on my iPod.
And it didn't work!! It was brand new! Bought the day before. I was frustrated, this was my simple plan falling apart on me at the toughest part of the day. I fooled with it for several minutes but it was playing music without any vocals. At least it was sound, I thought I'd muster through. Two songs later it was driving me crazy. I started fooling with it some more. Finally, I realized the headphones just weren't all the way attached. Silly tired girl. In retrospect the fooling with the iPod let that first area pass without much thought to the actual uphill running. Once the iPod was working it was all about the climbing. I started to think about Todd, he thought I could run every step of that hill, something I have never done in the three previous years running. I really, really wanted to be able to tell him that I had indeed run every step of that hill. So I kept on moving forward. I told myself to work harder, get the climb over sooner. The legs felt better climbing then they did running faster on the rolling stuff.
I decided at mile 20 (the course was marked with mile markers) that I would allow myself to look at my watch again. I figured if it said sub 3 we (the brain and legs and I) could pull off a course record. At just past mile 20 the road turns, I looked at my watch, 2:53. I was out of my mind ecstatic at that moment, like the race was over and won. I got a little emotional, I really thought for the first time all day that it was not a maybe but I could pull off a course record if I could keep strong. I told myself not to cry (yes, I really did) because we were cramping and that crap would dehydrate us. But mentally, I was in a new place now.
And then I was ready for the climb to be over, I hadn't remembered how rolling the top of the fireroad was before you get to the aid station. I felt like I should be running faster but I was also out of water. And cramping. I ate another GU, the last for the day. I came into the aid station and drank some water and had my bottle filled. I hated to kill even a second but I thought I had to get water in me.
Leaving the aid station you have a steep downhill. Last year I had run it strong. This year I aimed to do the same but was worried about the legs. I started downhill and a runner passed me, he said he'd never seen someone climb so fast, I know it was just a compliment, I don't climb THAT fast but it did feel good to hear. I told him it was what I do best so I did what I could. But I thought to myself, I wish I could downhill like you. And before the thought was even completed he was gone and out of sight. I was running well when the calf cramps came on like a vengeance. I had to slow and then slow further, I drank more water but then I started to feel the water in my stomach sloshing and began to feel nauseous, I knew these cramps weren't just dehydration. I was torn between drinking more and feeling sick. The muscles in my calves felt so tight and they were cramping every minute but they weren't as bad as Terrapin or Promise Land. I was thankful to have the recent memory of cramps that were debilitating to make me run through the ones I was now experiencing.
I fought through those cramps and I fought being angry about them. I knew I could be running faster, but I focused on what I had left. I thought I was running too slow and that my 3:50 for Kevin was lost, that the course record was lost, that I wasn't 'getting off work early'. I vowed not to look at my watch and let my body do what it could, not challenge it with time goals. I tried to 'engage' other muscles to help the calves, but that proved to only show me how tired my quads were too, and inadequate. Then my right hand cramped too probably because of the asinine but comfortable way I hold my water bottle. I passed Decker and he said I looked strong. I felt awful. I kept telling myself, 3.5 miles to go, 3 miles, 2.5 etc. as I passed the mile markers for the 25k and marathon.
The cramps became their worse on the flat Horse Pen. I tried to fight them but they were taking me down, I wanted to run through them, I knew I was so close to being done, but I was also a little worried because they got like they were at Promise Land where they seem to lock up my legs. I had to stop and work the right leg out, just for a moment, and then took a 30 second walk break, the first since the climb up the Trough. When I went back to running after that walk break they felt a little better, they seemed a little loosened up. The trail started to climb a little and I hoped we were near the final section, the paved road.
Finally coming out of the trail I stopped at the aid station and drank water. I didn't bother filling my bottle but just drank a cup at the water stop. The volunteers there told me I had a mile left. Pulling away from the aid station, after some thought and deliberation, I decided to allow myself to look at my watch figuring it would perhaps push me if I was really close. My watch said 3:40. 3:40! This was another awesome moment of the race. I knew if I could pull off a 15 minute mile I could have the new course record. I started to run. I looked down briefly and saw I was running a 7:22 pace. Pretty impressed with that I thought about Kevin, and that I would really like to tell him I ran sub 3:50, so I pushed a little harder. I was further impressed that I could run anything that fast, that late into a race in which I had felt so crummy the last few miles.
Turning onto the trail section I was ready to finish strong, I ran across the creek and saw mud and streamers everywhere and thought I had taken a wrong turn. I ran back to the creek but a guy coming said I had been going the right way. Frustrated I ran back that way but was still unsure how to maneuver the trail. Then a few steps later I got confused again, I could hear noise at the finish line but couldn't see the trail. I stopped dead and realized a moment later that there were stairs! Doh, Alexis you've run this before, I thought. I was getting really frustrated that I wasn't going to run sub 3:50 after being so convinced I had it in the bag. And then there finally was the red bridge and the finish line.
I crossed in 3:48:36 Good for first female, a new female course record, a new PR (according to Courtney's revelation of the change in course in 2013 it was a PR by 29 minutes!). I was so happy to be done and really pretty proud of myself. It wasn't an easy day, but I had remained considerably positive throughout and rolled with the challenges of the day fairly well. The day was not without mistakes but I am really proud that I stuck with my plans, that I pushed early, that I fought hard all the while staying in a fairly positive place. I really needed the confidence builder a good race is, but I also needed the practice of playing from a positive mindset. The donut for breakfast didn't hurt me too badly nor did the shoes (and I won a pair of Hokas from the Aid Station for coming in first! so I can replace those old Stinsons).
It's been a very, very long time since I was this genuinely happy about the outcome of a race. It was not an easy day, it was hard and yet I didn't fall apart, especially mentally. I would really have loved not to had cramps, especially for so long, but it could have been worse. It's definitely been an eye opener that perhaps I can run faster and stronger than I would really like to admit.
-Alexis
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