Sunday, May 7, 2023
Pittsburgh, PA
Half Marathon
I signed up for the Pittsburgh half marathon a few weeks after the Rock N Roll half marathon in Washington DC. I ran 1:48 in DC, an improvement over Richmond in November. I honestly had hoped to go under 1:45 in Pittsburgh when I signed up but training didn’t really go as planned and I didn’t take the speed work or race specific training very seriously. Yesterday, at dinner, when Beth was talking about strategy for today's race I realized I had nowhere near the plan I had in March.
I didn’t really “feel” like I was going to go under 1:45 but I did think I could do 1:49 or under. I didn’t have a racing strategy or fuel plan, no idea what I would eat for breakfast, no water canteen I carried around with me walking the city yesterday to hydrate. Because of the ball game I didn’t drink well in the evening, because of the ball game I got anxious and didn’t even sleep well.
I had packed minimally for the race, which should be a good thing, but readying my belongings on Saturday evening I realized that I just really hadn’t given this race a lot of thought or planning. I still honestly figured it would go ok.
I tossed and turned from midnight to 5, at 5 I woke in a half stretch in which my left calf seemed ready to cramp, I stopped it mid stretch but took it as a not great sign, as dehydration symptoms or tension, after 5 it was a matter of watching the clock.
With as little as I had brought I was up and dressed in 3 minutes, but my thoughts had me second guessing every choice or detail overlooked. I put tiger balm on the calf and both knees.
I put my Apple Watch on and checked to see what music was downloaded and as an auto response checked the battery, it was at 32% and had not charged all night despite looking like it was. Thankfully Bailey had a battery charger I charged for her at Promise Land that still had some juice so we hooked it up to charge for the next hour.
However, with the sleep, the calf, the watch and my poor breakfast and hydration planning I was really starting to feel frustrated with myself.
I wore my Baleaf navy shorts, I think I need to buy, train in and race in a compression short. I wore my Patagonia shirt from Western, it was sufficient. I wore my knee brace and my favorite socks, balega. I had brought both my Saucony Ride and Hoka Arahi and went with the Arahi, this would be a crap-tactic choice. My feet felt heavy, like lead, standing in the chute. I hoped they would loosen up on the run but my feet hurt the entire race and during the later miles started cramping up. I’ve worn these shoes, raced DC in them, I have no idea why they gave me trouble today. Probably won’t wear them again.
On a positive note, our friends the Harts were in town this weekend and Beth was also running the half. Beth and her daughter met Bailey and I at our hotel. Beth was a godsend as I failed to pack anything for breakfast. She brought me a granola bar and some fruit snacks and I got a water bottle from the hotel lobby.
After we got a final restroom break we headed over to our corral, A. The way the Pittsburgh race is laid out is very thorough and our daughters could walk us to the ‘gate’ off of Penn Avenue but not accompany us onto Liberty Ave.
We took a few pictures and when the battery to the watch was at 70% I said my goodbyes to Bailey after setting my watch to be tracked to find my phone. She also had the race app downloaded and ready to track both Beth and I on our run. However, the night before we had a little scary incident walking back to our car where we came upon an altercation between some people and I was still just generally apprehensive about leaving her. Spoiler alert, though 15, she handled it like a champ, better than I would and I’m prouder of her than anything I accomplished today.
Beth and I walked into corral A and started looking for the 1:45 pace group for the half marathon. Beth wanted to go out with that pace group since we both hoped we could be under that time. However, we couldn’t find them. We found 1:40, 1:50 and pace groups for the marathon but no 1:45. In retrospect, I should have started with the 1:50 half.
At this point my feet felt like lead and I was just so unsettled feeling. I didn’t really even have a focus on my actual running. When the Elite race began and they set off fireworks I was just made all the more uncomfortable. Something about the sounds of fireworks bursting in air over a marathon didn’t sit well with me. If I sound a little crazy, yep, I’m portraying it well, I felt it.
Thankfully before too much longer it was our turn to start the race. And as if often the case, the running took care of itself. At least for a little ways. My feet still felt heavy but I got miles 1 and 2 in moving exactly or better than I thought they’d be. However, during mile 3 I just started feeling kind of crappy. I hadn’t turned my music on at first and had now done so and tried to focus on what was real, like races are always hard, everyone is hurting, hurting is a sign of effort, it doesn’t always get worse, you have to stop thinking like a quitter.
But the crap feeling only continued. And I mostly felt it in my stomach. I feared I was sweating too much and maybe more dehydrated than I appreciated. We had dinner early last night and afterwards went to a ball game where the lines to get anything to drink were as exhaustingly long as half marathons. So I didn’t hydrate well. When we got back to the hotel I was beat, so I didn’t hydrate well. I had grabbed the water in the hotel lobby but I hadn’t drunk it all.
By mile 5 I was sweaty and hot but got goosebumps and was just feeling really low energy. I actually wondered if heat exhaustion can affect people more once they’ve had it, reflecting on what I think got me last year at Western. I stopped at the next water stop for water and gatarade. When I say stopped I didn’t walk and so most of both ended up on me and not in me. I was still trying to reach my time goal. How ever, by mile 7 I was feeling even worse, pretty defected and needed badly to find a port a John.
Somewhere between 7 and 8 I stopped and took the time needed and also had a little pep talk that I had to throw out the ideas I had come into the day with, I needed to rethink what failing and quitting meant. It was the first real mental win of the day. I reasoned with myself that my failings at Western states and Hellgate were not because I am a quitter.
I am not a quitter.
It was hard, and I knew it was only 8 then 7 then 6 more miles to go but that is an awfully long time when you feel so bad. Thankfully my knee was doing ok, unfortunately my left calf was getting angry, my hands were cramping up and I worried my legs would next. I was convinced it was at least partly due to poor hydration and I made a point to stop, walk and actually drink at several of the next water stops.
And so I ran on, and I tried to give myself pep talks and argue that my ultra running benefits me on days like this and that days like this would benefit my ultra running. But I also considered how poorly I eat and hydrate, how much more dedicated I could and should be to racing if I’m going to race. Thought about that, shelved it when I just wasn’t sure what to think.
By mile 10 I was not feeling worse than I had been at mile 3, I started thinking about the miles ahead and what I needed to do. I tried to pick it up a little and I did for a couple of minutes but my feet fought back as did the calf and my hands still made me a little concerned.
The last of the three bridge crossings in the half was a doozy, we separated here from the marathon so the crowd finally thinned a little and though it wasn’t a steep climb it was a long slow one and I was able to run but started feeling more tired. On the next climb I walked, it was the first and only walk of the race without counting the bathroom stops and hydration breaks. I felt both bad about it and also really thankful for the change in stride. I shook out my hands and counted to 30.
After that I knew the end was coming, and for some reason that always allows me to endure a little more, a little better. It didn’t get easier but I knew it was coming to an end. The last mile seemed long but I never saw the mile 13 sign either.
I crossed the line in 1:56 but Bailey says the results say 1:55. Either way, it wasn’t as bad as I worried for some of those middle miles and it wasn’t as good as I had hoped when I signed on to run.
Immediately after I felt a little numb, but as the day has worn on I’ve been mostly able to see some of my failings but also some of my strengths.
-AT
